Fun-filled, traumatic, joyous, troublesome, boring, cruel, pleasing, satisfying, challenging, tempting, misleading - yes Life is full of 'em - that is why life is so very SPECIAL - and yet the thrill is in "living" life! And all the accompanying ordeals are the frills attached with the thrills.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Saare jahaan se achchaa...

Being away from my place makes me terribly home sick.And when its a different country all together, things are even worse. Though I do enjoy the new culture, people, cleanliness, good manners, I terribly miss our own "Indian-ness" which makes our India so very special. Even the so called negativeness seems so positive now. And going thru' the posts of fellow bloggers who are based in India, I can't avoid saying to myself "How lucky they are to be in their home country!".And no, this is not my first trip outside India and therefore the "first time travel abroad"syndrome does not count here ;-)

Whatever said and done its always "Sorgamae endraalum....". Initially I used to laugh at the lyrics of this song and the backdrop of this song is Singapore - one of the cleanest cities. One ofthe lines goes as "Vethalaiya madichu, maaman adhai kadichu thuppa oru vazhi illaiye" (Rough translation :There is no way you can chew betel and spit it on the roads). Hats off to Gangai Amaran / Ilayaraja for penning the song - it has almost become a trademark song for all foreign travellers.

That's the truth - so what if the city is clean? so what if the traffic is amazing? so what if the transport is fantastic? so what if people mind their own business? More importantly a city should have LIFE and I can see such "live" cities only in India! If you don't get what I mean, visualise a Ranganathan street, area surrounding Mylapore temple and compare it with a place abroad - maybe US or UK or Singapore. See the difference?

Maybe this is what many say as the "essence" of India!! JAI HIND!

26-Sep-06, As I was reading "The Hindu" online yesterday, I was surprised to see an article on similar lines. Crazy Sir, I fully agree with you. You can read the article here.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Where have they gone?

My current place of residence has been my home for many many years and looking back, there is a radical change in the neighbourhood. The most obvious one is socialising with fellow neighbours which has been on a drastic decline (sadly!) and other is the absence of many many street vendors. In due course, we even don't seem to notice their absence. Here are some of the 'once-familiar' tones which is on the decline or completely absent these days.

Ammi polayalayo (or whatever that is!) : The lady with a hammer and chisel. The eye-catching attire is when she bundles the hammer and chisel onto her head and carries her baby in her saree. She is the one who chisels the often used ammi and kozhavi (mortar/pestel). When the mortar-pestel are used often, the rough surface becomes smooth, thereby taking more time for the ingredients to get ground. More and more people turning towards mixies and motor grinders, seemed to have had a big effect on these poor people.

Krishnaaaaa...aayil : This was how the kerosene vendor went about marketing his 'krishna oil'. I wonder if the blue tint given to kerosene (to prevent illegal trading) gave this common name. The vendor used to pull a bright yellow coloured cylindrical steel tin mounted on two tyres.

Uppu thatha : The frail thatha with a contrasting white moush and hair was a friend of the kids. The only dress we saw him in was a cotton cloth wrapped around his waist. He used to tirelessly go about selling his uppu (salt) from street to street. I hardly see him these days.

Saana(m) pidikaradhe... : The man carrying a cycle wheel structure attached to a wooden structure with a pedal and a sharpening stone used for sharpening blunt knives, aruvaals and importantly arugamanais. I am sure the whole 'machine' was his own design and self-made. Sad that many of our conventional inventions have either gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

Jodrippair : Maybe it was 'Jot repair'. I know people refer to shoes as jot (as in 'jottala adippen'), but don't know if its the same. I used to go ga-ga over the cobbler's tool bag. Almost all of his tools are made from a used product. The needle would be nicely packed in a rubber stamp handle, the scrapper would be a shoe polish tin lid and the way he makes the stitches - wow! For me, its a treat to watch anyday!

Kulfikaaran : Though I do see them in the beach, their daily rounds in the streets seem to have reduced a lot. The bell was the kulfikaaran's trademark sound with a petro-max light hanging on his tri-cycle. In our street, our family was probably the only one buying kulfi from him but nevertheless he was popular in many areas. What is reminiscent of the kulfikaaran is his sweat clad face seeming very ghost-like when seen above his petro-max light. I used to watch in awe the way he takes out the kulfi from the metal/plastic-rimmed containers with a knife and slice it up. He would place it on a dry leaf (forgot the name of that leaf). The taste used to be awesome though I used to get odd tastes in between. Some of my friends have warned that the water/way of making might not be very hygenic but the kulfis haven't troubled me so far!

Soan papadi wala : Just like the kulfikaaran, the soan papadi wala is confined to the beaches these days. When I think about the son papadi boy, I am amazed when I realise that I have not spoken a word with him nor have I heard his voice. His arrival was signalled by his bell and the huge bell jar would be tied firmly with a rope to the wheeled cart.

Kadalai vandi : Very similar traits as the soan papadi boy. His trademark sound was the roasting sound of sand and groundnuts on an iron wok with an iron spatula. He would bang the spatula on the wok to announce his prescence. I still remember the words 'MINIMAM 25 paisa' written in a very bad handwriting and bad spelling in front of his cart. It was 10p earlier, then it became 25, later 50 and now I think its 1 Re minimam, sorry minimum! Whenever I got groundnuts from him, my eyes would fall upon the books which he probably got from the old paper mart for selling his groundbuts. Most often, there used to be some kind of text books like Chemistry, Maths and I used to wonder then "aah! what is this guy doing? This guy doesn't know its worth"

Kaikari paatti : Though the tri-cycle cart vendors still visit our streets, the paattis (grandmother) carrying the vegetable basket are not to be seen these days. One should see how the different varities of vegies are neatly arranged in that one round basket. A cloth bundled as a bun on her head would act as a support for the basket and she would sit in the verandah for hours chatting with the ladies of the house. I remember helping the paatti lift the basket and place it on her head when she is about to leave and boy! that is some weight! Imagine having to carry such weight in the scorching sun across many streets. Hmm... what grit!

Paal cover, buddi, papaaar : The old newspaper man is still prominent but the number of them has drastically reduced. In those days, scent bottles, plastics were his best buys and so was iron. During our childhood days, we always used to mimic his tone and the nice paperkaaran used to smile back - not minding our childish mocks. One of the paperkaarans of our street who has been around for a long time has his son studying in one of the good schools in our locality. Isn't that great news?

One thing which is common among these people is their sincerity to earn money instead of resorting to cheap tactics like begging, stealing and other means. I can't imagine myself in their shoes. I can afford to be lazy on a day and forgo going to work but to them each day counts. Its not a question of wanting to become rich but to ensure their family gets their next course meal. My salutations to their grit, determination, hard work and endurance. They do teach us some lesson - don't they?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Shun the idiot box, well wait a minute...

The television today, seems to have engulfed - almost - all other activities. Lots have been said how TV has literally spoilt social life, book reading habit, playing outdoor games, visualizing capabilities, made us couch potatoes, given early age eye defects, awful thoughts - what not! And not to forget the oft cursed serials (or the soap operas). Though I find almost everyone swinging brickbats on them, the viewership has not diminished a bit. If you are a regular "serial-watcher" and you missing a day watching it, you would still get the story, miss a week - no worries, skip a few months - you would still be able to decipher the plot! The soap directors think the audience are dunces and we, very earnestly, prove them right - don't we?

Okay, enough of the brickbats - whatever said and done, the TV seems to be a very good companion - at times, the ONLY companion. I have had a stint with this kind of experience during my days away from home. Though I had my roomies, having had to work on shifts, loneliness was inevitable at times and loneliness to me - more than causing boredom and frustration - is haunting! And it was during these times that my friendly companion came to my rescue - who else? my little 14" Videocon TV. Believe it or not, I would just switch on the TV, tune into some song channel or to some insane soap and leave it as is and carry on with my brushing, attending nature's call, cooking, dressing, cleaning and so on - having just a faint idea as to what's going on the TV.

And when I was even farther away from home, getting very little chance to rub shoulders with my native tongue or culture, TV again was my solace. Of course, there were other arenas too - like friends, internet, gazing around, roaming the city, getting to know the other culture, but still, during my times of solitude, I could rely on TV! Even the most irritable song, a disgusting actor, a lousy heroine all seem to have descended from heaven then. I am sure many folks who are staying/have stayed alone (especially the ones living abroad) would be able to relate to this state of mind.

Agreed TV has taken many a quality time but to me, many a time, it has helped me maintain my mental quality :-)

Friday, July 07, 2006

Rasam for the soul

"Chicken soup for the soul" is one of my favourite series - though most stories relate to the culture in America. I had also read a couple of blogs on the net which goes like "Vegetarian chicken soup for the soul" or something similar to that. Yes, rasam seems to be our very own chicken soup. I got a real feel of this wonder medicine last week. Having got drenced in the drizzle one evening, the next day seemed very sick - my body was aching and I felt heavy on the head (no, please don't mistake it for 'head weight'). I generally prefer not to take allopathic medicines and therefore shun any tablets for headache, cold which give instant relief - instead I leave the cold/headache to settle by itself or take home made remedies. That day, being at office, I did not have access to the home made kashaayams. But for lunch, my mom had packed rasam saadham (rice with rasam) and after I had it, by evening things became normal. Wow! I was truly amazed. No wonder, conventional remedy during fever/cold recommends a diet with rasam and it does the trick too! Maybe the cumin, mustard, pepper, chillies in the rasam do the trick.

Rasam is one of the seemingly simple recipes but it definitely requires some kind of kai manam to induce that real taste and flavour in it; and to add to it are the vast number of the variations... I had always envied the paruppu rasam of my mom's. The aroma would fill the whole house. How much ever I tried, I could never get that taste when I made it myself. There is also this sharp distinction between rasam made at a vegetarian home and a non-vegetarian home. I love both though! Rasam with paruppu usili is my favorite combo and so are rasam-potato fry and rasam-potato chips.

Hail rasam!!

Monday, June 05, 2006

The other side...

Almost all Indian bloggers have touched upon the reservation topic! So would I be far behind? ;-) As far as I know, I have always opposed reservation (hold on - this is NO anti-reservation post again) because I always felt the person with a better score is being deprieved of a chance over a person who has got a lesser score. But, can the score be the only criterion to entry? Okay, let me give a background story to substantiate this :

Sarasu, the lady doing our household chores has 3 daughters. She is a single parent as her husband, who was a bit mentally challenged, left them one day. Not that his presence helped things any better but it seemed they had no 'male support' (as the neighbourhood would put it). She took great pains to marry off her first daughter. The dowry thing was not much of a problem as Sarasu got her daughter married to Sarasu's own brother. The second daughter did her schooling (in a corporation school ofcourse) till 9th and then joined a fancy store as a sales girl and would also do house hold chores in the evenings. She also managed to go for typing classes in her spare time.

The third daughter - Ambika, was also quite inclined to studies. She too was in the same corporation school as her sister. She also worked in the houses in the day and evening times. Many considerate landladies did their little best to help the girl - like buying notebooks (books and school fees were waived off - being a Corpn. school). Seeing a little girl in her early teens, rush to school after the household chores in the day and then seen in the evenings sweeping the front yard in her green school uniform was definitely a heart-kindling sight. How many of us are really lucky and blessed - we never realise until we see people like Ambika.

With the meagre money that the whole family manages to earn, the girl could not think of any other luxuries like a study table, guides or even tuitions. So she would approach me or my mom for any doubts in Maths and English. Inspite of all this, she managed to score close to 70% in her 12th standard board exams this year!

Now would this 70% be comparable to 80% which I would score given the fact that I have access to all the luxuries that I can afford which the girl cannot. Above all there lies the simple fact that I can choose to just study study study whereas Ambika would first think of ensuring that her family gets atleast 2 meals a day and then comes studies, degree and whatever!

Okay - but should I be deprieved of a seat inspite of getting 80% and Ambika be given the seat inspite of getting just 70%. That definitely seems unfair but what is the repurcussion of me not getting the seat and Ambika getting it? A degree, a job, a better salary would do great wonders for Ambika - probably change their whole lifestyle whereas me not getting a seat is kind of okay, I can manage to get into a private college or a payment seat or worst case try for an improvement and get into the same college next year.

But one thing which I fail to agree is caste cannot be an assessment factor here because though many downtrodden families have made advancements, there are many many really worthy candidates who are left out. I remember, during my PG days, a candidate who got about 5000 Rs. as SC/ST scholarship, would be seen on a shopping spree every Sunday - so now you know how the scholarship money is spent? At the same time I have also known a boy belonging to SC/ST category not knowing about scholarship but still has a dream to study and also another who made good use of the scholarship and got a plump job and thereby uplifted his family to a better level. There is also the son of a poor temple priest I know who was left behind - just because he belonged to the forward community. He had to settle for something other than his desired course because he missed the bus by a narrow edge!

The main drawback in our country is that the government has failed miserably on the primary and secondary education front. A student studying in a corporation school is absolutely no match for a student in a private school that too with the same sylabi. Instead, the government is all bent to give reservation at top level education, which is definitely not a welcome decision. The credibility of instituitions and the candidates would go for a toss if merit is comprised at *that* level. Instead primary and secondary level education should be upgraded and improved to higher standards - at par with good private institutions. Reservations could be given to children of hapless families - their fees waived off, all amenities provided and enough encouragement given upto say school and under-grad level but beyond that it seems meaningless.

So my take? Reservation is definitely necessary but where, for whom, till when is something to be debated upon!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Urbanisation

Does Urbanisation really help? And what is urbanisation? More often people (including myself) seem to attribute urbanisation with "modernisation". A city is deemed fit to be called developed if it has posh hotels, all steel and concrete buildings - preferrably high-rise ones, glitzy malls, lot of English speaking around, less of saress and chudis and more of jeans, t-shirts and skirts, san the flowers, bindis and bangles, more of coffees rather than kaapis... but is this development?

Okay, let me think... urbanisation or development would probably mean better roads, better transport, better access to heathcare, better sanitation and better availability of basic goods and services. But why is that such urbanisation always comes with a tinge (maybe a little more than a tinge) of moderness? I don't say being modern is wrong but our perception of moderness seems to dwell in the west. Anything western is modern! For heaven's sake NO! Eventually we tend to lose out on our very own, special, unique traditions and practices which even the westerners awe and at times emulate.

Yesterday, as I was returning home, I passed by a quiet alley with lots of trees, vast open lands. I saw people in most houses place a cot in the open area adjacent to their houses, with the FM radio mellowing some songs and the members lazily lying on the cots gazing the sky with little chit-chats. With the IT revolution catching up in the area, wonder if the trees, vast land and probably even the house would cease to exist!

I don't know if my thoughts have become like an old timer but I strongly feel we are losing out on something BIG in the name of urbanisation (read IT revolution!). Is there a way out?

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Drawing the line...

I loved honey dripping talk, I say 'loved' because I don't fancy such talk anymore, ofcourse unless it is really authentic. Over the years I have realised that its okay to be arrogant - at times, rude - occasionally, speak out your mind - often, but have always shunned hypocrisy. When a person is being rude and outspoken, you generally know what is to be expected out of him/her but never with that soft sweet words you hear often from most people.

But at times when I take pride for being outspoken and point-blank, I wonder if it has really hurt someone bad. May be it did! So where do I draw the line between being outspoken and hurting somebody? Or is it that people have gotten used to so much of flattery and praises that they just can't seem to digest criticism or straight-from-the-heart talks?!

In my case, as far as I can remember, though the appreciations have made me happy, given my 'moments to cherish', what had made me really grow and mature are the constructive criticisms (I learnt to make them constructive even if they weren't meant to be). Importantly, over a period of time, I got to realise that criticisms and timely outbursts are not necessarily reflections of any feelings of hatred but only momentary or contextual reactions; and have strongly inferred that if one is able to get this realisation, relationships would hardly turn sour.

Today, when I have developed the guts to speak from my heart, I know that my intention is not to hurt the person but an attempt to be honest, to be true to the relationship I hold with that person!

Friday, April 07, 2006

Life with a rewind button - not a bad idea eh?!

I have generally heard people advise others to put one's past behind his/her back. However, I feel one should never forget his/her past for both good and the bad reasons. The good ones probably make the person traverse with ease during tough times and the bad ones help to know and appreciate oneself for having been steadfast and seeing thru' those bad times. I am a person who loves to dream - not just about the future but also mostly of the past - the good old days and I have often carved for a rewind button in life.

The fun filled, systematic school days or the more carefree and less-restricted college days and those many little little, probably trivial incidents, thinking of which produces a smile and lightens up your face - I am sure everyone has a bit of these.

It happens often when we share past memoirs with our college/school/other friends yahoogroups and the oft repeated Mudhalvan dialogue keeps cropping up "If only life had a rewind button"!

But practically speaking, would life be all that interesting if life really had that rewind button? Mmm... I doubt! For, life is to be lived for every moment. Every moment is special, and if you had an option of re-living it again, over and over again, we might probably miss out on the fun and sentiment attached to it. "Wanna have that fun again? no probs - just press the Rewind button" - doesn't seem all that exciting huh? even though it does! (am I sounding like an oxymoron here?)

Its like watching a suspense filled movie or a catchy song or a colourful song sequence. Watching it over and over again might give you the kick but never will it be same as watching it the first time!

Yes I would love to re-live the moments when we had birthday bashes at hostel, throwing eggs on the birthday boy, when we made fun in the classrooms - pulling the 'pairs' of the class, long walks on the beach, winning a prize at school, the fun-filled outing, the great time at a cousin's marriage, eleventh hour preps and I do re-live these and many more - in my thoughts. Maybe the interest to re-live the past would tend to cease had life had a rewind button but till I do have that option, I'll rely on the rewind button in my mind!

Monday, March 20, 2006

Casteism - what does it offer?

No, I am not starting with another post opposing casteism or questioning the need for it. On the contrary, I am supporting it! To give a background, castes were formed based on professions - the potter, the cobbler, the undertaker, the scavenger, the priest, the farmer - all were segregated based on their professions. So, how did this help? Today, we talk about a merged society, anybody can take up any profession which suits him/her. What about in the past when the society was small, cohesive and a closed one - say a small village or taluk which was probably ruled by a chieftain? The community then had to ensure that it was self-sustained in all respects. Even the so-called low profile jobs were important - there had to be somebody to do them. So a barber's son had to be a barber to ensure that there was a barber in their community. The same holds good for a priest, potter, artisans and the likes. What did they get in return? The chieftain ensured that their needs were taken care - they were given houses, their kin's marriage taken care and any needs would be addressed by the community. But the side kicks were that some communities were kept off from the rest because of their work - which probably was deemed as dirty work then - say like that of a scavenger, a cobbler or barber. But never (I presume) were they left uncared for or made to feel unimportant. Infact one particular person who is incharge of regulating the water flow from canals to the fields who is from a lower caste is considered important and he has the final say. Even the chieftain looks upon him for inputs and details!

So what does caste has to offer? I see a rich tradition and a whole plethora of different lifestyles associated with the different castes and there is nothing better or worse here - each is unique and special in its own way. Even in the customs and traditions, I do not see exhibition of any hatred or ill-feelings towards other people or castes.

Why are we targetting castes when caste is not that bad at all? What is bad and which needs to be condemned is the hatred and apartheid arising out of casteism and not casteism itself. What we have today even otherwise is segregation based on education, social status, money - how are these better than casteism? If not caste, humans would have come up with something else to differentiate and show superiority over other.

When I visit the agraharam like setup in Mylapore or Srirangam, I wish they continue to uphold their authencity inspite of modernisation. I wish the theru koothus, thiruvizhas, the peasant livelihood, the potters - all continue to exist irrespective of the radical changes in the world. I admire the skills of the sculptor, cobbler, barber - all alike. I get inspired by the little saving techniques of the down trodden and equally get amazed by the architectural beauty of the Chettinadu houses. So which caste is bad? which caste promotes hatred? or apartheid? none! Its us who cultivate these.

Maybe we should start appreciating casteism - not for the differences - but for the rich culture and heritage it holds and instead shun the hatred and differences arising out of it!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Summm...er

People call me strange but I would still like to stick on to my preference - I love hot climate! It may appear strange but I seem to have got the fascination for this climate for all the good reasons!

From time I can remember, summer meant long vacation and those planned trips where we try to revive the 'lost links' between long forgotten relatives, friends and places. A typical summer vacation, even otherwise without the trips was 'Sleeeeeep-eat-play-eat-play-play-eat-play-sleep'. The indoor games would resurface after its hiberation (owing to exams) - Trade, Monopoly, scrabble, cards, carrom. And ofcourse the routine 'never-miss' evening visits to the beach! En-route home, we would visit the library and try to grab the Archies, Tinkles, Tintins and Asterixs before someone would.

Other pictures which flash to my mind about summer :
The mushrooming thanneer pandals (water sheds?) where enthusiastic party men prove their might and even distribute butter milk and rasna at times! and then those many many hand-carts and heaps you see all the way on the roads with water melons, cucumbers, musk melons and my ever favourite mangoes and maavadu! Nature's bounty is best seen during summer. Then comes my another favourite - icecream! Though I have no distinction between icecreams, I have a special liking for the kuchi icecreams - tangy orange, semiya, paal ice but I had to give up on those owing to the unhygienic water/methodology adopted these days.

Inspite of people lamenting over the heat, humidity, sweat and the likes, I find they are at their active-best during summer. Every one is busy doing something or the other. You would hardly see anyone laid back. People are either travelling, shopping and our folks at home are busy making either vathals, karuvadams, maavadu, pickles or squashes, jams and the likes and the kiddies keeping up with summer camps, tennis or swimming . In short, there is some kind of 'festive mood' in the air during summer.

One notable sight (which is sadly on the decline these days due to apartment culture) is people placing water pots outside their homes. This is for the thirsty traveller! Hmm... what a noble gesture!!

Another important event generally making its appearance during summer is the election! Somehow I feel that during this time, everything else goes un-noticed. So even if you were to commit a petty offence, it seems to be absolutely fine ;-)

The evenings are fun too. Long chats on the beach sands, which obviously gets continued at homes with lots of star gazing and then the group dinner with cousins (generally kai urundai).

The best reason I would attribute to summer is the flexibility of going out unlike the rainy and cold seasons (well not applicable for Madras though).

Traditionalists say that the winter's exodus starts soon after Mahasivarathiri and now that Mahasivarathiri was celebrated last Sunday, summer is not far behind (I am reminded of Shelly's lines : If winter comes, can spring be far behind?). Did I hear a sigh? Well don't worry. With the right clothing, right food, lots of water, summer is definitely an enjoyable season. So let's welcome summer with arms wide open and a 'warm' hug! :-)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Love deprieved...

Foreword : Apologies if this post turns you off. If you feel you would like to keep your good mood intact, then I would sincerely advise you to forgo this post. Thanks in advance!

I was very disturbed by this video, the link for which I got thru' e-mail today. It shows the video recording of a house maid ill-treating a little boy of the house in the absence of his parents. The camera was secretly fitted in the drawing hall. Being in the state I am, I thought the best way I could alleviate my grief would be to share my feeling with my fellow bloggers.

For the rest of the day, my thoughts were revolving around the little boy. Being subject to such toture at a little age, what impact would it have on his psyche? The agony when he sees his parents leave and the unsaid joy when he sees them back and the turmoil in between. Still worse, the child would not be able to express this agony! As a little solace, I read in the comments section that the mother quit her job and is taking care of her child now though the maid gave the slip. But how long would it take before the child recovers from the mental perturbation? I just hope he does soon.

This brings yet again to the topic on plight of a child with both parents working. There might be reasons aplenty but in the end, all that matters is not the luxury/comfort which parents provide but the love and care which they are able to shower upon their kids and the kids acknowledging this love in return.

Parents would obviously want their kids to have the best but its also necessary that the child understands hardships and also realises the trouble which parents undergo and know that everything doesn't come served on a silver plate. If luxury would be the yardstick to measure a kid's lifestyle, then would it imply that all less-affordable parents do not do justice to their kids?

In my case, I wasn't the 'born-with-a-silver-spoon' kind but my parents definitely showed us what troubles are, what joys are, that happiness is a state of mind, to be content, to share what you have, to give the best inorder to get the best, to see those less-previleged and feel how blessed we are and finally these virtues are what have stood steadfast in the long run - not materialistic pleasures, which we also did enjoy wherever we could afford them.

I know parents, both of them working, still doing justice to their kids and also mothers, inspite of being at home, not giving the required attention. But in cases like these (both parents working for better quality of life), what luxury/comfort would it matter to that little one when it is being deprieved of what it needs most - love, care, a soothing touch, a lullaby, a cuddle...?

You may be deprieved of a house, food, luxuries but to be deprieved of love is something I cannot imagine or rather wouldn't want to imagine. You get love - you feel the whole world is with you but you get no love, no matter even if you buy the world, you are lifeless!

Some are lucky to have good mothers, grand parents, aunts and even loving care takers but for many most part of their day seems to pass in that wait... the wait while looking at the gate in creche, waiting for the door bell to ring, waiting for the sound of that pick-up van, dad's bike, the clock stricking 6! And when they seem to get what they were yearning for all those years, its all too late for now they've become stone-hearted having got used to all those vain waits!

For all those parents and parents-to-be, please... please.... don't get carried away by that comfort/luxury tag. I am sure you can provide much much more than those materialistic comforts by being what you are, by your presence, by your love. You lose your job, you lose your high-profile job - its just another employee gone for the company but remember your kid has only one mom!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

What's in a mousch?

The moustache, atleast in South India, has been the epitome of bravery, courage, heroism and more importantly masculanity. Though it may sound silly, I somehow fancy this attribution. Why? because I like moustache too but no, I don't sport one. The maintenance tasks involved dithered me from the idea of keeping one and hats off too all those bethren who do sport a mousch, I know what it takes to keep one!

People have been very innovative in moustaches too : from the handlebar, pencil drawn, Hitler types to the very trendy goatee.

But sadly in the recent era, moustache is losing its prominence. Not sporting a mousch seems to be more fancier than having one. Infact I hardly remember any 'uncle' from my previous generation who did not have a mousch. Well, the situation was different with the generation one step up from my uncles (the grandfathers era that is) - hardly anyone sported a mousch then.

In those days, one obvious criterion which distinguished a North Indian and a South Indian hero was the moustache - the heroes of the North almost never had one while is south, they were never devoid of one. But now looks like the South heroes have taken a clue from their northern counterparts - almost all heroes these days have shunned their mousches!

Another familiar trend is seen amongst people going abroad. Most foreign 'returnees' have their moustaches removed (if they had one earlier!) for reasons best known to them. Even stauch 'upholders' of moustaches give up their precious asset.

Some feel a clean shaven face gives a young look but I beg to differ. Kamalhassan (one of my favorite stars) looks more younger with a mousch than without one.

And another question doing the rounds often is : do women fancy men who don a mousch over men who don't? Hmm... opinions apart, there's definitely 'something' in a mousch huh?

Monday, December 26, 2005

Life as an equation?

I only laugh at those numerous "character tests" found generously scattered everywhere - in books, magazines, internet. And with time, the popularity of such tests only seem to be on a rise. Ofcourse, with no disregard to others' feelings, I would only want to wonder why is that people seem thrilled when such tests 'claim' to reveal what they are - infact people would know better about themselves - won't they? and therefore, do they need a test for that?

What I deem to be funny is the way things are interpreted.
You like to go by the sea for holiday? then you are a sober and dull person.
You like to go to the hills? you are full of energy and enthusiasm.
And some poor little souls, would even find all ways, totally disjoint from their taste and mood, to alter their likes and dislikes just to fit into that 'seemingly perfect category'.

As I keep saying, life is such a wonderful thing and I just can't accept it as an equation. If x=y, then z=?. Mathematics and Science, according to me, will just not work on life's boundless horizon.

I like black and like black because I like black not because I am boring or dull or negative.

Isn't it high time to stop analysing people by such tests based on their likes and dislikes? And if you notice the analysis generally has two shades - a positive one and a negative one and generally the positive one carries the person off his feet and then the negative one brings him back making him remark "yeah! how true....".

And there are many such illogical attributions :
black for negativism, white for purity or goodness, height for success, depth for down fall...
Well, its okay as far as you attribute goodness to something but why attribute negativism?

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Me? Beautiful? Ofcourse...

Who ever said beauty is only skin deep or looks don't matter? These statements, I would say, are heights of hypocrisy. Though I can understand the rationale behind such statements, I really wonder if people can be judgemental without going by looks (ofcourse, unless they are visually challenged)!

I've always felt the person with attractive looks has an edge over a person with not-so-attractive looks - be it an interview, a VJ hunt or even match finding to flimsy ones like who a VIP would probably shake hands with in a crowd, randomly choosing a person from the audience or next to whom a fellow passenger might take his/her seat!

All of us are entitled to form our opinions of people - not after years of being with them but by the first impression(s) which gushes into our minds by that very first glance. For some reason, some faces kindle a liking within us while some cultivate incomprehensible dislike just for no fault of theirs.

I am no better. But as I think now, looking back, almost all of the close relationships I made, relationships which I cherish are with people whom I might not rate as being very attractive by looks.

There have been times, long time back, when I used feel low for being dark and not being as good looking as I would want myself to be. And times when people have given me thumbs down, during various - but probably trivial - occasions because (I presume) of my looks. But fortunately, I have matured with time. I have realised that its not those momentary judgements which matter most but the long lasting impression which you make on others is what goes the long way.

I can't make myself adorable by my looks but definitely I can by what I am or by what I can be.
As I type this, I am reminded of this line from Padayappa :
"Mugathai therndhedukkum, nirathai therndhedukkum urimai unnidathil illai,
un vaazhkkai mattum undhan kayyil undu, adhai vendru edu"
(You don't have the choice to choose your face or your colour but your life is in your hands - win it!).

For all those people out there who have or had feeling as I did, remember that you are beautiful by heart, even if not, you can make it beautiful and this beauty is eternal.

Monday, November 14, 2005

My! My!! (Part-2)

(continued from Part-1)

Is virginity the only factor to approve of a woman's quality? What about the quality of mind, heart and soul? What about those women who cause family feuds, the mother-in-law who torments her daughter-in-law, the wife who nags her husband to put his parents in an old age home, the mistress who subjects her little maid to all physical abuse, the women folk who gossip about the lady in the neighbourhood, the selfish woman who would not want to part anything of her with anyone - how better are such women than a woman who has lost her virginity before marriage?

And what about those numerous rape victims and women subject to sexual abuse due to various circumstances? Don't they have a right to live? a hope to have a happy married life? Why should they be shunned of marriage just because they have lost their virginity and that too due to no fault of theirs.

And what about those 'loose' girls who gave in to their desires? Can't they turn a new leaf? or wouldn't they make loving wives? A mistake once done can't be regretted for? and amended?

I really pity women in this aspect. It can never be ascertained on similar lines (on virginity) in case of men and they are not questioned either; but with women, their whole life seems to centre around it. Is this fair?

I respect culture, tradition and strongly value ethics too. But given a detour from the normal route, should it turn out to be the end of the road? I know it would definitely take time for us to accept such rational concepts but with time, thought and love, am sure it is possible - ofcourse for the better. Even people adverse to my views, hope you give it a thought before making your comment.

Following all this drama, Suhasini in some function voiced her support for Kushboo and said "Thamizhagalarukku mattum komba molachirukku?". For this, the Nadigar Sangam seemed to have woken up from their slumber and asked Suhasini for an explanation. Why the heck should she offer an explanation? The comment was not intended against all Tamils but only in response to those agitators who claimed that Kushboo's remarks were against people of Tamilnadu. Periyar during pre-independence remarked that Tamil is a kaattumiraandi (barbaric) language and encouraged people to learn English which, he felt, would make them 'universal'. Even few years back Karunanidhi said that the Tamils in Malaysia have better patriotism for their language that the Tamils in Tamilnadu. Sarath Kumar, who seemed so agitated in front of the media against Suhasini, doesn't seem to mind the other remarks from his own party and that too targetted against the whole Tamil lot.

And those numerous stupid people staging agigations? Don't they have better work to do? Better problems to address? Are they the sole representatives of the people of Tamilnadu? Who gave them the right to talk on behalf of us? Where do they go when they hear : about those gruesome rape stories? about those numerous concubines which a famous (notorious?) man may possess? about the politician with many wives? about the agonizing tale of a man sexually abusing a one-year old? Such ghastly incidents and even worse tend to happen, not elsewhere, but in our very own Tamilnadu.

'Morality' is very subjective and capping oneself on moral limits should be exercised by oneself and cannot be imposed upon. Its rests upon individuals to assess what is moral or immoral by listening to their conscience.

My! My!! (Part-1)

Seeing the recent fuss being made over Kushboo's remarks to a magazine, I cannot consider these agitations as anything more than cheap publicity. I didn't know, initially, if it would make sense to write a post on this but now with Suhasini being dragged into it and the Nadigar Sangam asking for an explanation from her, I deemed it appropriate to post about it now. Anyways, sex is not a taboo anymore. Ofcourse, these opinions are my own and I am entitled to them and you, in your own right can object to them! [Also, apologies, if my post seems outright crude and point blank - couldn't help it!]

The Background : India Today had conducted a survey and found that certain percentage of teenage girls have had pre-marital sex. When asked for Kushboo's comments on this, she said that its only advisable that girls have safe sex and that educated men should not expect their future wives to be virgins anymore. To this, a section of the public objected strongly (probably instigated by some political parties) saying that Kushboo's remarks were against Tamilnadu's culture and that she should apologise or be banished from Tamilnadu.

My view to this :
First, aren't people entitled to their opinions and views, well, atleast when the opinions are generic and not specifically intended towards any particular person or group. In that case, Kushboo's remarks are certainly general and not intended for any specific person or group.

Is pre-marital sex new to our culture? There have been many works in Tamil where eroticism has been depicted with subtle details between lovers - obviously between lovers who weren't married. What about the story of Kunthi who bore Karna? Ofcourse, people would only want to circumvent pre-marital sex considering the negative consequences it would create but given the situation we have today, the next best thing you can advise people who give in to the 'temptation' is to be safe. Isn't this (unprotected sex) the reason why we see so many babies being abandoned in dustbins, numerous cases of teenage pregnancy and still worse girls/women ending their lives?

Coming to the second point about men not to expect their wives-to-be to be virgins (2 many 'to-be's huh??), I think it would be apt to debate on 'virginity'. I read somewhere that Periyar once said that women should throw off their karpu. He went on to add that "Its only because of this that men domineer you. Throw it off and there will be nothing to thrust their control upon you women folk". People hailed Periyar then as a champion of women. His words definitely made sense - but the same people who worship him for being a rationalist, cannot seem to accept a similar view from Kushboo.

(To be continued...)

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Water Water everywhere!

Unprecedented rainfall in South India! Flooded rivers, watery roads, slushy houses. Looks like the constrast which life offers is best personified now. Until recently, Tamilnadu was reeling in drought and water scarcity was the order of the day! And today huge (that's huge with a capital 'H') quantity of water is going waste into the sea. Again, how long would this water sustain us from yet another dry period? All this put together makes me wonder if even the drought situation and floods is man-made? Inadequate water management - or probably scant regard to a precious commodity!

Considering Madras alone, the two main water resources - Adyar and Cooum rivers - have become drainage flows. Infact many people would even chuckle if I were to refer Cooum as a river. Once upon a time - certainly until the mid of last century - there was a boat house on banks of Adyar river and the Buckingham canal was used for navigation.

How many of you know that there was a huge lake in the area now compassing Kodambakkam, T.Nagar, West Mambalam, K.K.Nagar? It was called the Long Tank and later as Mylapur Tank (not to be confused with the artificial temple tank beside Kapleeswarar temple). No wonder these areas get inundated during rains today - now you know why!

So all the major water resources are either polluted, encroached upon or ignored. So recharging ground water has come down drastically whereas ground water withdrawal has increased manifold. Rain water harvesting was an expedient scheme. But again how many of us really understood its significance and implemented it in full earnest?

Imagine a clear Adyar or Cooum river with neat parks by the sides, boat clubs, fishing spots, a steamer passing by to ferry passengers in the likes of Kerala! The alternate mode of transport would not only be cheap but eco-friendly too (considering the motor-less boats), apart from the bliss of travelling in a boat! More importantly, two sources of water are intact ensuring water supply for major part of the year!

People never seem to value the importance of water. You are likely to find a fully turned tap open to wash vessels when just half of that 'turning' would have sufficed. Drinking water is used where recycled or probably unpotable water is all that was required like when washing cars, floors, watering plants, shaving/brushing with the tap turned on, showering in full flow for long time, using buckets and buckets of water for washing clothes... the list goes on and on.

Instead of lamenting at the government always, we could do our little best to counter the water scarcity - use buckets/mugs instead of running water thru' hoses, showers, use alternate water (recycled, hard or dirty water) wherever possible, implement rain water harvesting, reduce water wastage.

I have an idea for the government too! The government can probably introduce another water line in houses/industries and other establishments. The pipeline would be in a different colour to differentiate from the regular drinking water line. This line can supply treated (or recycled) sewage water. Ofcourse, it could be made potable too but alteast the public can use this water for 'other' purposes - wash clothes, utensils, floors, cars or water plants. Major beneficiaries would be industrial plants and hotels were large quantities of water is consumed. But will this work?

I read some nice posts on similar lines here and here.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Holiday? Say that again!

Had a tiring week at work?
Not to worry, the weekend is not far away.

Want to catch up some sleep?
There's the weekend again!

Bored of everything.? Just want to relax and do nothing?
There's the weekend for that too.

Weekend seems to be the perfect excuse to do nothing. Probably that helps in a way too - to rejuvate one's energy, morale and spirits! But what about those 'mothers' who have no weekends, no holidays and who's only motive seems to be in the interest of others' well being?

Imagine a tiring trip back home. You would only wish if your place of retreat would come to you than having to walk till there! THUD! and you snuggle into your bed taking the previlege of not having to worry about any consequences. But even then, the 'mother', inspite of the fatigue, is all sleeves up in the kitchen just to feed the hungry stomachs.

Then there are the festive seasons. In today's era, the whole family is glued to their televisions or out with friends, except one soul - again the 'mother'! There is breakfast time, tea time, then lunch, evening snack time, dinner and apart from that the special occasions, guest visits, special luncheons, dinners... whew!

How often have we taken this role of a 'mother' for granted? Have we acknowledged the role in gratitude? or even given a thankful thought?

At times I wonder if even falling sick is a blessing in diguise for such 'moms' - a temporary rest to their legs which are in constant motion, a momentary stop to their toiling hands and probably a holiday forced upon them by God but definitely not for their minds. The mind is still pondering - what happens to the home without me? did he have his breakfast? did she have her clothes ironed? was there anything at all to eat in the house?

Yes, that is the 'mother' for you. Probably every one of us have such 'mothers' in our homes but maybe in different forms - a dad, a granny, an aunt, a warden, a care-taker or maybe even a house maid. The world may have changed with mind boggling technological advancements but a holiday for a 'mother'? Not yet - probably would never be! Let's give a thought as to what best we can do to give her, from time to time, a holiday which she truly, worthily deserves!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Q?

My anger knows no bounds when a person barges to into a queue for no big reason. Given any situation, a normal Indian would only want to get to the front at the cost of others. There is no distinction here - you could expect this kind of insane behaviour from any person - well off/poor, educated/illiterate, man/woman - there is no bias here.

In India, for the kind of population we have, things would only be better if people were more disciplined. By discipline I mean exhibiting the same while waiting in a traffic signal, waiting to get a ticket, waiting to get into/out of a cinema hall, waiting to pay a bill, waiting for your turn in a hotel, waiting to get into a crowded bus, waiting to get darshan in a temple and waiting to get a freebie somewhere. Why can't people just stick to a queue when things are no better when you try to go out of turn!

Next time you see a person cutting a queue - stop him/her! Its only because of our apathy, such lot take the situation for granted.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Planetary motion

Astrology... an interesting topic - especially when it comes to debating whether astrological predictions are to be believed or not to be believed. Before I go on to say if I believe in astrology on not, let me give a note on how I got interested in astrology. There have been instances where predictions of astrologers, whom I know personally, came true. And there was this famous astrologer - Lion Parthasarathy, who's lecture I had a chance of attending to when he was the chief guest for one of our school functions. Later another programme of his featured on TV for which Radhika was the host. He says that astrology is a science - not something related to intuition. Further, if a horoscope is correct and if the person analyzing it has got good knowledge about it, then its just like reading what is in the horoscope and nothing based on intuition. He added that in the past horoscopes were used to predict a person's health conditions and therefore the royal doctors (vaidhiyars) were also astrologers. Mr.Parthasarathy, as he himself quoted, was a English lecturer in Presidency college and then took interest in astrology, studied about it (I think he even did a doctorate thesis on the same) and became a full fluedged astrologer.

The Naadi josiyam is another sect of astrology which interests me. Its astounding to learn how few sages in the past had written predictions for almost every human in this world - or more to say for those who are 'destined' to see their Naadi josiyam predictions. The serial Chidambara Ragasiyam on Sun TV every Wednesday at 8.30 pm provides some interesting insights into the various aspects of Naadi josiyam.

What I argue with most people on astrology is that - I do not contemplate on whether astrology is true or false. Infact I have known many cases where the predictions have come true and I have read and heared that there is no 'predicting' but only reading thru' one's horoscope. There have also been miscalculations by astrologers - I guess more to do with the astrologer's shortcomings than astrology's.

I can favour astrology if its going to give a positive ray of hope to someone who has been draped in misery. If his stars say he is going to have a bright future and if this is going to make him live in hope, then good for him. But mostly I have seen people restricting themselves from taking a step in a new venture owing to unfavourable predictions. Well, if man could control his destiny, wouldn't life be all the more easier for all of us?

Life definitely gives us shocks and surprises and I feel its these that make a person more stronger and give him the energy to face the turbulences. Ofcourse, many remain steadfast and see themselves out while few do not. In such situations, when relying on astrology, we either tend to dwell on the future and restrict ourselves or worry about the future and spoil our present. As I've quoted in my blog subject, the real greatness in life lies in 'living' it with both the pluses and minuses added with momentary surprises too. Knowing what the future holds for you is like knowing the end of a mystery movie before hand. Ofcourse the choice is yours, but as most people would agree, the excitement and thrill is in watching the movie without knowing the story or its end - isnt it?!!