Fun-filled, traumatic, joyous, troublesome, boring, cruel, pleasing, satisfying, challenging, tempting, misleading - yes Life is full of 'em - that is why life is so very SPECIAL - and yet the thrill is in "living" life! And all the accompanying ordeals are the frills attached with the thrills.

Monday, November 14, 2005

My! My!! (Part-2)

(continued from Part-1)

Is virginity the only factor to approve of a woman's quality? What about the quality of mind, heart and soul? What about those women who cause family feuds, the mother-in-law who torments her daughter-in-law, the wife who nags her husband to put his parents in an old age home, the mistress who subjects her little maid to all physical abuse, the women folk who gossip about the lady in the neighbourhood, the selfish woman who would not want to part anything of her with anyone - how better are such women than a woman who has lost her virginity before marriage?

And what about those numerous rape victims and women subject to sexual abuse due to various circumstances? Don't they have a right to live? a hope to have a happy married life? Why should they be shunned of marriage just because they have lost their virginity and that too due to no fault of theirs.

And what about those 'loose' girls who gave in to their desires? Can't they turn a new leaf? or wouldn't they make loving wives? A mistake once done can't be regretted for? and amended?

I really pity women in this aspect. It can never be ascertained on similar lines (on virginity) in case of men and they are not questioned either; but with women, their whole life seems to centre around it. Is this fair?

I respect culture, tradition and strongly value ethics too. But given a detour from the normal route, should it turn out to be the end of the road? I know it would definitely take time for us to accept such rational concepts but with time, thought and love, am sure it is possible - ofcourse for the better. Even people adverse to my views, hope you give it a thought before making your comment.

Following all this drama, Suhasini in some function voiced her support for Kushboo and said "Thamizhagalarukku mattum komba molachirukku?". For this, the Nadigar Sangam seemed to have woken up from their slumber and asked Suhasini for an explanation. Why the heck should she offer an explanation? The comment was not intended against all Tamils but only in response to those agitators who claimed that Kushboo's remarks were against people of Tamilnadu. Periyar during pre-independence remarked that Tamil is a kaattumiraandi (barbaric) language and encouraged people to learn English which, he felt, would make them 'universal'. Even few years back Karunanidhi said that the Tamils in Malaysia have better patriotism for their language that the Tamils in Tamilnadu. Sarath Kumar, who seemed so agitated in front of the media against Suhasini, doesn't seem to mind the other remarks from his own party and that too targetted against the whole Tamil lot.

And those numerous stupid people staging agigations? Don't they have better work to do? Better problems to address? Are they the sole representatives of the people of Tamilnadu? Who gave them the right to talk on behalf of us? Where do they go when they hear : about those gruesome rape stories? about those numerous concubines which a famous (notorious?) man may possess? about the politician with many wives? about the agonizing tale of a man sexually abusing a one-year old? Such ghastly incidents and even worse tend to happen, not elsewhere, but in our very own Tamilnadu.

'Morality' is very subjective and capping oneself on moral limits should be exercised by oneself and cannot be imposed upon. Its rests upon individuals to assess what is moral or immoral by listening to their conscience.


வேதா said...

as u have said virginity is always considered as a word related only to women.women who are prone to sexual abuse are illtreated in our so called society.politicians or the persons who self proclaim that they are the "kalachara thoongal" of the society or who raise their voices in support of women liberation have remained silent in this is high time that public realise that these issues are politicised and should be regarded baseless.
the worst thing is the nadigar sangam's revolt against suhasini.she had the viguor to support kushboo and she should be supported for this.but what she gets?she is getting remarks against what happened to our ex-CM who jus proclaims that he is a follower of periyar.he usually appears daily in his asthana tv new channel delivering some uppu peratha he is silent.cant people understand that this is politics and people who are raising voices against kushboo are doing only to politicise the issue

//It rests upon individuals to assess what is moral or immoral by listening to their conscience.//
the issue of morality is still a public affair in our society and still people regard women as the bearers of morality and virginity

Ravi said...

wow Veda! Very well said. Your post asserted it all. I fully agree! Thanks for taking time to give a nice, long, well-written reply.

Slice Of Life said...

some parties think if they critisise the comments of actors will give publicity?
it is their doing
they havenot left even sania mirza?

Rajesh said...

Rightly said, morality is left
up to the individual conscience to follow.

And in Suhasini's case, what to
tell.. All these Nadigar Sangam's
and all, are dancing to the tunes
of the Political Parties pressures.

Ravi said...

chennai pages,
very true!

thanks for coming by. Actors who get fame, name by their first profession ie., acting tend to lean towards politics/politicians and seem to dump their roots.
Keep visiting!

vasanthi said...

loose women means??

Ravi said...

By 'loose' women, I meant women who give in to temptations (not to be confused with the colloquial term 'loose' meaning crazy or mad); 'loose' women are those who do not have tight control on themselves.

sen said...

A Very detailed post.Glad to see that there are so many progressive thinkers in the blog world.

Ravi said...

Thanks Senthil for coming by. Please do keep visiting!

Viewer said...

I think freedom of speech is something which Chennai has not heard about and "Dont be be oversmart and blabber rubbish to grab media attention" is one phrase which Khusboo has not heard about

Balaji S Rajan said...


Chennai Sen Thamizh maranthe pochu.... One of my friend often quotes that our culture lives more outside India... Most of the politicians who talk about Thamizh, will be giving their Kith and Kin convent education, and sending them abroad for higher studies. Even while in India they will be taking French, German as second language.
Solrathai seiyamattanga
Seiyvathai solamattanga....
We have to keep blogging... Oru naal oru naal ... will they not change.... I do not have hope in my generation. Our attitude has to change...... I can only say as 'Our' .....hmmmmm

Anonymous said...

Results of the controversy : Kushboo and company

1. Pre Marital sex is here!. That's the truth. There is no denying it. That's the gist of what Kushboo said (not me!) Its NOT just metros or Mumbai or Delhi that the "pre marital sex" is happening. There are also extra maritals going on all over India

2. *Tamil Nadu is NO exception*. There are surveys that show that approx 40% of college students have had sex before marriage !!! Now please don't come back and tell me ONLY MEN had sex, and that too all by themselves...

3. Tamil movies have as much sex portrayed in them as bollywood movies. In fact there is a great competition there in showing more sex

4. What happens in Indian cities gets noticed and has a multiplier effect. It's soon followed by others in smaller towns and villages

5. The dress, the dance, the music... the cinema ... these have always moved from cities to towns to villages

6. So would this "sex" thing move to every place

7. Womens lib is calling this "freedom of expression" and *supporting Kushboo*

8. So to me it looks like Kushboo has a point. *Men who expect their wife to be a virgin are fools*


Ravi said...

I can't exactly say this as freedom of speech. More to do with hypocracy. Our people (read the people who want to make it on the headlines) tend to take many things lightly but when it comes to issues which can grab attention, want me make a hue or cry over it. I think what Kushboo said made sense. Ofcourse, pre-marital sex should be avoided but is that what it is today? or just because Kushboo advises to have safe sex doesn't mean all those teenagers out there are going to experiment with sex.

Thanks for dropping by again. Again, you post highlighted the heights of hypocracy by our politicians.

Thanks for dropping by and also for your detailed comments. Pre-marital sex or extra-marital sex is definitely not a healthy trend but given the situation it is, the next best thing would be to play it safe. Why do you think TN is rated on top in HIV infected people count? And not all have it thru' blood transfusion or from their spouses. More than all these Vinayak, let's say a divorcee or a widow wants to have a second marriage? Just going by the virginity factor, don't these women deserve a second life? What "liberalised thinking" are we talking about? The so called rationlised thinking here stops with breaking Pillaiyar idols and brahmin bashing. Huh!

Anonymous said...

hmmmm.....I cant comment..(I am only smiling).......Good one

Puspha said...

What a great topic!! Well said everybody.

Ravi said...

Hi & Welcome. Keep visiting

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